Tuesday, January 03, 2006

a chicken for the judge

This sketch is from my job as a "companion" for a very paranoid elderly woman with an EXTREME short-term memory problem. This was in an upscale apartment for older people. If she went out into the hallway alone to check her mailbox, she'd come back in and say "Hey! Who are you and how did you get in here!?!" Every day she boiled two pieces of chicken, one for herself, and one for her late husband, who was a judge. She always referred to him as the judge. I was informed to tell her, "I'm sorry, but the judge passed away 11 years ago." I would not say anything if my boss had not told me that's what I'm supposed to say, but after hearing over and over about the judge coming home tonight, I finally said, "I'm sorry but the judge passed away 11 years ago." To which she responded, "He didn't 'PASS AWAY', he DIED!!!" And then, "I just HATE it when people say PASS AWAY-- it makes me think of passing GAS!"

My favorite quotes from her were:

On the phone with a telemarketer: "What? What credit card? How can I buy it when I've never seen it? What color is it? I'll have to talk to the judge about this!"

"See this hairbrush, how it's all full of tons of hair, know why I keep it this way? So nobody tries to use it, that 's why!"

"EVERY day I eat my honey, yes, I remember the day, many years ago, that I forgot to eat my honey, boy was I sick that day!"

"A person could go crazy in this place!"

Yes, I know it's a very sad situation, very sad for the family, but I have to say this was one of my worst jobs ever. I watched every minute of the clock slowly tick by for hours. How about my new blogging friends out there... what were some of your worst jobs ever?
I drew this sketch while she was cooking two pieces of chicken.
She was a very tall woman.

7 comments:

Seeker said...

Love that hairbrush comment! (Is that why my mom never cleaned hers?!)

My worst job was just a couple years ago, I got licensed to sell insurance for a broker... he wanted someone to help him with internet inquiries. (Have you ever done a search on "affordable insurance"? There must be gazillions of websites.) People would check our website, but of course trying to track them down was next to impossible... they would give phony email addresses and phone numbers. When I DID contact somebody, they were hardly ever really serious about buying insurance; "just shopping around" and I believe caller ID helped me get a lot of answering machines.
I don't ever want to sell another thing.

Jenn said...

That sounds like a terrible job. I always thought if I was a telemarketer I'd love it if all I got was answering machines. I'd just hate trying to sell stuff knowing how annoyed people are. Did you ever sell any insurance that way?

uncle joe said...

I can see Cloris Leachman playing that part (if she's still alive) whenever you do your screenplay for your life story. Who would like to play you?

uncle joe said...

who would YOU like to play you is what I meant.

Jenn said...

Jodie Foster.

Seeker said...

I did sell a couple of policies... but the boss decided there was too much competiton for the online insurance business and went back to the old fashioned way.
I wasn't, technically, a telemarketer since I only followed up on internet inquiries. I think being a telemarketer making "cold" calls would be the absolute pits.
Guess I'll stick to my part-time RN job...

Jenn said...

As an RN you would probably deal better with chicken-cooking judge's wives than I did. That is not my gift.